The necessities of human beings are food, water, and clothing; this is what we have learned so far. But sometime back, while doing some research, we went through a Happy Realization Moment. Now wondering what this realization was about?? Well, well, well, it’s nothing else than the necessity of being married. Don’t you think with time, it’s a turning into a necessity? I won’t be left astounded if our future generation studies for basic human need, viz. food, water, clothing, and Marriage. Hahaha!! Just Kidding.
But yes, although not a basic necessity, still marriage plays a significant role in the life of an individual. It is entirely in a turning point for an individual’s typical life pattern as well as living habits. So it’s of core importance for one to have a very understanding and complimenting partner in different phases and aspects of life to make a marriage healthy. And to gain this, couples should probably have the heart to heart conversations before getting married on specific topics before diving into the marriage pool.
Here are five important things couples should discuss before their wedding:
Having and Raising Children
Once, there was this time when having kids after marriage was a given thing. This topic was never on the table for discussion. But with the changing time, today, the mindset of people has changed too. This has sorted the lives of people who do not wish to have children at all or for some period after marriage. Some people wish to celebrate the initial years of marriage by being solely dedicated to their partners and their marriage.
Hence it is indeed a must-have conversation, and one of the essential couples should discuss before their wedding. Also, it is essential to consider how you plan on raising them. Also, couples need to discuss and be prepared as to what is to be done if they couldn’t conceive but still wish to have kids.
Career and Money
Your conversations before getting married must include discussions regarding career and money. Career and money are two of the major issues that couples fight upon after marriage. So it’s better to be safe than sorry. Couples should always have a discussion on these topics before deciding or even planning to get married. Couples need to decide whether they’ll pool all the money or prefer separate accounts.
How and from where will they be managing their everyday expense? This topic turns extremely important when one is a heavy spender while the other is a stubborn saver. So better to have this discussion in advance. And it’s definitely not rude to talk about money with your partner.
Then comes the career. Career is quite a sensitive topic for most of the individual today. Also, the world turning competitive doesn’t help. People today are extremely career orientated which might turn out to be a significant issue in marriage. This is because if both working, then there is quite a chance that at some point, one person’s career might have to sit back in order for another person’s job to move ahead. But it’s unfair to expect your partner to back down directly. Hence, it is important to talk about the initial stages of your relationship.
Religion & Values
Your list of questions to ask before getting married must include religion-related questions. Religion, faith, and moral values may not have great significance in relationships before marriage, but they hold a lot of importance in any relationship after marriage. They might not seem like a topic for must-have conversation, but they turn out to be playing huge roles after.
At first, it might not bother you while you are in love, but that’s just your hormones thinking. And after marriage, its brain that does the thinking and not the hormones. Hence, it is of sheer importance to be on the same page with your partner in terms of religion and values. This helps in taking a better approach towards your marital life. Though they are not a total deal-breaker, again better to be safe than sorry.
When living together, there should definitely be discussions about the religion and culture of your countries, especially when they are different. In order to do all this easily and not be constrained, besides the usual discussions, you can try to attend institutions near you, the system of which will include curriculum for youth group, which can help you to stay on the path, also it’s an interactive and engaging way to learn easily for everyone. Besides you, there can be other couples and family members who also will share their knowledge with you. In addition to this, this is a very good opportunity to get to know all that in a more practical way and of course understand each other more deeply.
Freedom & Independence
There is this belief mostly followed by the singles that, stepping into marriage might rip you off your freedom and independence. Well, it does not require to be that way if you take a better route towards the path of marriage. Now, this better route is called nothing else than ‘talk.’ Having a word with your partner about your friends, your way of living your life, which includes partying and how you prefer spending your leisure time along with your other interests in life. You will not be forced to give up your freedom and independence after marriage if you have proper and sound communication with your partner before marriage.
What triggers you?
Your questions to ask before getting married must include something related to triggering factors. Your partner might seem to be your ‘the one’ before marriage, but there is a chance that there might be some of their minor habits that could annoy the living shit out of you. So, I’d say, if there is anything else left to be discussed, then it has to be the minor acts or habits which turn you nuts to no limit. Example: leaving the toilet seat up or being a lot flirtatious. Though this may not seem big, it definitely will be when it happens on a daily basis, which can turn your marriage nasty. So a piece of advice, talk about it.
In short, you need to talk, like really sensible talk (not the lovey-dovey one or the dirty one) to your partner before marriage.