The judgment of good and bad behavior of a child differs from one parent to the other. On one hand where one parent considers any particular behavior to be inappropriate, on the other hand the same behavior might not appear that way to the other one. In the similar way, the reaction of the parents towards the behavior of their kids also varies from one parent to another. For example: Some are extra sweet, some are very strict, few of them can never see tears in their child’s eye and some are really patient to handle even the most naughty kid. The character of the child also add lot of difference to the whole situation, as in, few kids react to happiness by being excess noisy while others follow a ‘hardly care’ attitude. The circumstances directly impact the attitude of the children, so every parent should be extra careful and should handle the behavioral problems with much of ease. At times, parents are not able to understand the change in the behavior of a child and so the problem becomes more complicated. If we discuss about the reasons about the behavioral changes in a child, there could be many like:
- Even small changes could matter for them a lot which can be any of these; welcome of a new member in the family, changing house, birth of a new baby, beginning any sort of business from home etc.
- At times the behavioral issues could be because of you as a parent. Let’s take an example: If you have given chocolates to your baby to keep quiet while you were busy purchasing at any store, he/she will expect the same every time and if you do not react the same way, the change in behavior is but normal.
- Children notice the things very sharply and react to them instantly. If there is any sort of problem in your family or your husband wife relationship is going through any personal issues, little angel might take no time to turn devil. In such a situation neither blame the child nor yourself, rather be patient enough to tackle your child with love and care.
- Peculiarly observe as to why your child is turning aggressive, unhappy, and too silent or any sort of strange behavior. Such a reaction could be due to excess tiredness, hunger, lack of sleep, frustration, boredom, hurt etc.
- Behavioral problem could also be a result of attracting your attention. He/she might be lacking your company and want to spend time with you. So, do think if you are giving ample time to him or her, else it is obvious for your child to react negatively.
- Even if the kids are slightly mature then one of the reasons for their behavior issue could be comparison with other kids. Kids often have the feeling that the so called child has that toy and he/she doesn’t. It could be any other thing apart from toy as well. This could make them frustrated and angry and so the reactions are obvious.
Before coming to any conclusion about your child’s behavior, first understand the reason behind it because no kid reacts unnecessarily and above all, they are not mature enough to handle any such situations. Little children are soft at heart and you never know what attitude of yours or anyone else in the family can actually hurt them. Being a parent you need to understand that it is just one of phases of life which they will overcome, one they grow up and start understanding things. Those behavioral problems are to be worried which are impacting the life of the people around you. Do not straight away take any action in order to prove that you are a caring parent instead deal with it smartly and in such a way that it does not encroach the heart of the little one. There are certain effective ways that will help you to deal with behavioral problems of the child easily and calmly:
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- Be a smart parent
Though you know very well that you are a parent but in such situations where child is behaving awkwardly, you might forget this fact and behave like them, which are not justified at all. So, always remember that you are parent and no one can handle any situation in regard to your child better than you. Do not become a child yourself while dealing with your kid else situations might turn worst and end up to unnecessary arguments. Hence avoid all this completely and be a smart parent.
- Be Confident & React in the Correct Way
Whatever you do as a parent should be correct for your child and the whole family too. Think from the perspective of your kid before coming to any conclusion, be confident that you will do best for your child and react in the correct way. After all, the positive attitude can break even the hardest stone hindering one’s way so here it is just you and your child.
- Be Logical & Consistent
Children are deep observers, so be logical and consistent in whatever you speak. Do not react in different ways on same situations (if any similar situations occur simultaneously). Your words and actions should not vary each other else kids are smart enough to notice you. If this happens, they might get more confused and won’t trust you in future which might change their behavior negatively.
- Don’t Quit before Succeeding
If you have decided to help your child to overcome with his behavior problems, do as best as you can and do not give up or quit the mission till you get success. Kids take time to understand and efforts take time to show results. You can take the help of your partner or anyone close to you in the family for better and quick result. Even consulting your child’s health doctor can help you a lot.
- Speak to Your Kid
Kids are so soft and gentle at heart that one can easily capture it with few simple tricks. Whenever you see your child reacting inappropriately, speak to him/her and ask the reason of why he or she is doing so, rather than making wrong suppositions. Even if your kid is too small to talk and express, still he/she ill have their own way of expressing it. All you need is to be a humble and patience filled parent to listen and understand. This will bring your child more close to you and next time if they go through any such problem; they prefer speaking to you directly and solving their confusions within seconds instead of reacting through bad behavior. Isn’t this a great idea and solves your problem forever?
- Never Over React
Kids are too small to understand and react to any situation and so is the cause of behavioral problems. At times the attitude of the child becomes too annoying and displeasing, and so it becomes to control your temper too as a parent. But as a parent it is advisable to you, to never over react on such situations. Your over reaction might worse the situations more and children will develop a feeling of hatred and dislike for you which is no good at all. Hence, try to calm down your child and make him or her busy in other activities so that his/her mind is diverted. Later, you can cool down your mind by talking and discussing it with other parents who are a good friend of yours. Mind you, please do not do any discussion before your child.
- Appreciate & Award
On one hand, where you need to have lot of patience as a parent for the incompatible behavior of your child similarly on the other hand, it is your duty as a parent to appreciate and award when your child behaves mannerly. Show them your pleased response on their good behavior by complementing them like:” Well done on completing your home work”, “You are such a good girl/boy that you helped mom by keeping your toys back in the place” etc. The appreciation can be in any simple form which you know that he/she will love and make him/her happy. You can award them by cooking their favorite food or taking them out for ice cream etc. All these ways helps a lot in enhancing the personality of a child along with behavior.
- Strictly Avoid Using Hands on Kids (slapping)
Whatever may be the situation, it is just not right to slap or hit the kids in any way. Even if you do so, the kids might stop from doing that particular thing but will leave a negative impact on them. Remember, parents who treat their kids aggressively are sure to turn more aggressive in nature. There are many other ways to warn kids apart from slapping. If you as a parent set hitting as an example to make your kids behave, this means that they will also learn that hitting is no wrong act to do to any one which is actually dangerous.
- Express Yourself in a Positive Way
The more positive you are towards your kids, the more positivity your kids will also gain. From behavior to thoughts, everything you do in a positive will surely leave a positive impact on them. It has been noticed that when the child’s behavior is tough to tackle, the good things he/she do, are generally neglected. This is not right at all. Always notice each and every action of your kids. Let’s take for example: If children do well then praise them by clapping, hugging or kissing, if they assist you with any sort of help, then always say ‘Thank you’ to them and in case if you had shown some anger by chance, then do apologize and say them ‘Sorry’ and there are many more such ways which can make them happy at heart. All such expressible acts of a parent never need a reason but are very helpful while dealing with child behavioral problems. They also learn all such good habits automatically. Also, you need not to ever bribe a child for motivating to do well. This means that, only reward them when they have done what they were asked to do but not before that. Remember, it is a reward for their good work not a bribe to make them do forcefully.
- Explore the Interest Era of a Child:
The interest field and likings of a child deviates from one child to other. So, explore the amusive activities of your child and pull sometime out, of your busy schedule in order to accompany them in things like: dancing, swimming, karate classes, singing, playing, going to park etc. Every time the cost of happiness should not be measured in terms of money. Your company makes them feel that their happiness is yours happiness too and they too will care about the things that make you happy. This will also make them understand that it is so much fun to be with a happy parent than an angry one so better not to do any such thing that makes their parent angry.
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- Never Make Comparisons:
This is something that many children hate. There are many parents who love making comparison of their child with that of others whether in terms of studies, clothes, attitude etc thinking that through this, they can gear up their child but it actually doesn’t work and instead the outcome is negative. Do not ever make comparisons among children because this initiates the feeling of irritation, thwarting and defeat in them which leads to aggression and frustration in their attitude. They feel themselves as looser and give up before trying because they know that at the end of the day their work won’t be appreciated but will be compared. Being a parent you should encourage your child and motivate him/her in every possible way. Such an attitude will fill them with rigor and positive attitude.
So, in order to deal with child’s behavioral problems, you need to change as a parent first and then only the change in the behavior of your child is possible. Above given were some of the major changes that you need to bring as a parent to deal with your child’s little behavioral problems and in addition to these, you can also make slight changes in your daily activities also like:
- Have a good co-ordination between you and your partner and never interfere each other when one is caring the child in his or her own way. Even if there is something that one needs to correct the other one for, do not do it before your child, and instead have a cool conversation in separate. After all, a healthy environment in a family makes the child also healthy; physically & mentally.
- Never get into any arguments with your kid because soon it will become a habit and you won’t even come to know. Understand the fact that your kid is too small to get into any discussion and it will take you nowhere. So, leave the matter then and there and let the situation calm down. Your child will automatically get busy in other works and forget the rest.
- Don’t be too instructive rather be explanatory. Little kids are still at learning age and will take time to understand and follow what you say instantly. So, give them their own space and explain every petty thing so that they can understand well.
- At times, the behavioral problems of kids are also due to lots of expectations of parents. Hence do not expect a lot from them because they are too small to be perfect in everything and even you are not still.
- Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner or any dear friends so that they can also help you in their own ways and you can also feel fine after sharing your views with them.
The fact is that any sort of behavioral problem in a child is not permanent. Most of them are age-specific and everything changes with the passage of time when a child grows up and becomes mature gradually. Everyone as a parent needs lots of patience and love to handle them with care. Kids are little and delicate flowers of our garden, so take the best care of them. Neither bee too harsh nor be too lenient to them. Don’t dream of changing every behavioral problem of your child at one shot, pick one or two simultaneously and work on them patiently and once you succeed then only proceed further. Your sincere support and love can change them to overcome any behavioral issue and improve them, so why not to give our hundred percent to them! There is no one better than parents who can thing best about their kids and so you are too. In the words of James Lehman, “Start where your child is and coach them forward.” Meaning thereby, acknowledge the strengths of your child, build them strong, limit your expectations and build your trust towards them and then see what an amazing person your child turns up to be!
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