Are You a Committed Christian Considering Online Dating?

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Kela Thompson/

Here’s five “rules” you need to think about

For secular people, asking your date about their religious background is generally not a big deal. “Oh, you were raised Hindu? Interesting, my father was Jewish but my mom was Buddhist.” And the conversation continues.

For committed Christians, however, faith in Christ isn’t something about someone; it’s the most important thing about someone. And for the genuinely dedicated, the question isn’t as simple as, “are you a Christian?” Somewhere near 80 percent of Americans claim to be “Christians,” but so many lead lives that are not in keeping with simple tenants of the faith. For committed Christians, “being a Christian” isn’t enough. The real question is: “Do you live as a Christian?”

Christianity for believers isn’t a lifestyle choice, it’s an entire life. A life in which every decision, great and small, is affected by faith. Unbelievers might scoff, but for a dedicated Christian, even the question of whether or not to buy a car is something that is prayed over and considered thought the lens of faith.

Not that we’re comparing a car to a partner, but if something as seemingly trivial as a car purchase is import enough to pray on, it’s obvious how much more important prayer and faith is to finding and committing to a partner.

There are some in the community who argue a Christian can’t possibly find an authentic connection by using social media. We disagree. But, aren’t suggesting swiping right on Tinder because the profile user claims to be Christian is going to bring you that special someone the Lord has in mind for you.

Thankfully, there are exclusive platforms – Christian singles dating sites, that can match and vet people from around the nation and the world. There are a wide variety of options of places to find Christian singles online, but there are a few things you should know before creating your profile.

As noted above, plenty of people say they are believers, but don’t walk the walk. Even on social media platforms designed for dedicated believers you will find people who aren’t in a truly committed relationship with God; making them clearly unfit for a committed relationship with you.

Rule one: Don’t ask simplistic questions and don’t accept simplistic answers. Questions such as “do you go to church?” or “do you read the Bible?” shed little light on a person’s real character.  Determining if a potential partner has a seriousness and a willingness to grow in the Lord and live the Bible takes time and observation. Ask deep questions if you want deep answers. What is their definition of discipleship? How do they demonstrate their beliefs? How are they involved in the community?

Rule two: This second guideline is directly connected to the first. Slow down. It takes time and patience to tune into the “still small voice” or “gentle whisper” of God as described in 1 Kings. Only after you hear that voice can your heart be sure of its direction; and only after guidance from above can a person of true faith make a determination about the sincerity of a possible partner in the Lord.

Rule three: Be open. We’ve heard so many stories of friendships blooming into love that start with, “She was just a friend I met online. I never expected to fall in love with her!” God has His plan, which as every believer knows, is quite often not the same as our plan. When meeting someone on a Christian singles platform, don’t dismiss them if an instant “spark” isn’t felt. If they seem genuine, approach them in the spirit of friendship and let the Lord decide how the relationship develops. They might simply end up being a friend, but who knows? –Well, God knows.

Rule four: avoid temptation with clear boundaries. If the person is right, a lifetime of intimacy and enjoyment awaits. Don’t muddy the waters by online overt flirtation or messages with words that might be taken as such. Remain pure in word and deed, and reap the blessings when the time is right.

Rule five: Intentions mean something. The fear of being alone or a need to flee boredom are genuine issues; but they shouldn’t be why you are on a Christian singles site. Dating carries an intention: you are looking to pursue a partner with the hope that a Godly covenant – a marriage – might be the outcome. The Creator designed the family unit: one man, one woman, to unite in love and faith and serve His purposes of bringing companionship to each other, and if it’s in the Big Plan, maybe new life into the world. Check your heart and make sure your intentions are pure.

If, after thinking over these five guidelines you still think Christian online dating is for you, go for it! God bless and we wish you a lifetime of love in Christ.

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